Baby did a bad bad thing

I did a bad bad thing. I am not a tease.  I don't play games.  If I am taking the time to get to know a new friend and I back off suddenly, it is because he did something to send me running for the hills.  I want to give my friends every benefit of the doubt and sometimes that might make me seem like a pushover. I believe the Boss thinks that is true.  That said...

The Boss has been contacting me again lately.  At first, I thought I should ignore him.  Then I got an idea.  An awful idea.  This grinch got a wonderful, awful idea.  I began to chat with the Boss but only on mundane topics.  Whenever he would try to subtly steer the conversation toward anything remotely sexual, I would steer it back.  I know him and I know this was driving him crazy.

This little game of mine was getting to be fun.  I would drop little hints that I was ready for him to fuck me.  Then I would shut him down. 

He began to get desperate.  Telling me all of the mushy things I should want to hear.  He misses me.  He needs me.  He wants me.  Tell me more, because I am only getting started with you.

That's right.  You had me hanging on every word for years.  Making me want you.  Making me do things with you and to you that went against every instinct I had.  Making me hate myself because I wanted you so much and you couldn't make time for me.  Making me doubt who I am.

What's that?  You think about me all the time?  Really.  I think about you too and it crushes me that you can't make time for me.  Then he said this to me:

I will come every time you ask.

You fucking liar.  I couldn't say anything.  I was so afraid I would scream if I tried to speak.  How many times did he "forget" me when we had plans?  Too many to write about. I couldn't believe this.  I thought of a million responses to that statement.  I don't want to argue with him though, I want him to feel what I feel.  I want him to want me and feel the sting of rejection.

He tells me he can be at my house in an hour.  He knows I am alone all day today and I am so tempted to tell him to come over.  Thoughts of kissing him deeply while his hands feel me all over are filling my mind and almost derail my efforts.

 I tell him no.  I almost never tell him no.

He says he understands if I can't and goes silent.  I know he is mad.  Finally, the man I have chatting with for hours and who just told me he could be here in no time at all, suddenly must go take care of some pressing matter at work.  I love knowing that he is mad. I am not proud of this game.  I prefer to be direct and tell someone to fuck off when they have screwed me over but this experience has been just what I needed.  He will call again and I might give in eventually, but in this moment...

I win.