Ehh...I've put it off long enough. The only reason I haven't told the Pilot story before now is that it is embarrassing. However, since I am pretty sure no one is reading this blog anyway I may as well get it over with.
I am occassionally a fan of cyber sex. I can get into writing really trashy detailed anonymous sex with another anonymous stranger located far, far away with little to no chance of getting caught and no real trouble if I do. Whenever I go on to the site I prefer, I am always bombarded with messages like "wanna cyber" "do u cam?" "do you like young boys?" "do you like older men?" I ignore 99.9% of all messages received. I can't explain why I choose to answer some and not others but I answered one message from a guy who was really interested in anal sex.
For whatever reason, we agreed to switch it over to Yahoo Messenger. We chatted about all of the usual ways he would fuck me if he were here, blah, blah, blah. I figured that was it. The next day, I am logged in to Yahoo (no, not under my real name) and he messages me. It is early in the morning and mercifully his conversation was respectful, intelligent, and funny. We chatted again that evening. He told me his name (nickname), his occupation (pilot), his location (deep south), and his hobbies and interests (same as mine). I didn't believe he was a pilot so he sent me some pictures of him in uniform in the cockpit. Very convincing. Then he suggested that he can fly for free....
Suddenly this shit was getting real. I never intended to meet anyone this way. If I was going to meet him, (I saw the pics, he was hot!), then I needed to know everything I could about him. We chatted on the phone, on the computer, and when he had to fly out to Paris (his usual trip) he would call me. He loved the idea that he was going to fuck the ass of someone who looked "so innocent" and I loved how exotic he was. When I expressed to him some nervousness at being so pale he said to me "my tan will look lovely pressed against you." I think I melted. Everything he told me was so smooth and charming. I wanted to do dirty dirty things with him.
We set a date for a month out. We chatted every morning and evening. I told him once he was a good thing for me and he corrected me and said "no, I am a fun thing, not a good thing." Don't get me wrong, I had no delusions that he would leave his wife for my sweet ass. This was going to be a one time only fuck.
The day arrived. I had to drive an hour to get to the nearest major airport. We found a hotel that would let us check in early...It was 10:30am. We got to the room. He kissed me so sweetly but with command. His hands reached down and lifted my skirt. I had to tell him the truth. You see, something aweful had happened to me that morning after he boarded his plane....
"I have to tell you something" I said. "You got your period?" He really should play charades, that was impressive. I sat down and started to cry. I was so nervous, upset, pissed off...he told me almost with anger "I wish you had told me before I boarded the plane." Asshole. It didn't happen until after he got on the plane. He didn't care. He let out a big sigh and said "well you can still blow me and I can fuck your ass." Okay....compromise. Good.
I gave him the best blowjob of my life (up to that point) and he came rather easily. Afterward, he took a phone call then suggested we go for lunch. I was too nervous and excited to eat so I made small talk while he had lunch. We got back to the hotel and he told me his father, who lives overseas, had some medical tests and he wanted to call first and check in. Hmmm, ok. He gets off the phone and tells me the news is not good and he is really sorry but could I take him back to the airport. Motherfucker.
After months and months of build-up he gets a blowjob and I get....nothing. He sent me an email later telling me our timing just wasn't right and he wishes me the best. He has not answered me when I have tried to message him. Fortunately for him, I am not a crazy stalker so I only tried twice.
I have a dilemma here...I regret getting to know him so well because I mistook his desire to get laid for friendship. However, I would have never agreed to meet if I had not gotten to know him. Kinda sucks. The moral of this story??? I won't give any more rides to the airport. ;)
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
The Lies We Choose to Believe
He had been my boss for several years and my friend for just as long. We worked very closely together and we shared a lot of details with each other... enough details to know how to get what we wanted from each other while pretending we were subtle. He asked me to have an affair with him. I said no. That was the first of many lies I told myself during the next five years.
Our affair was a strange one. It was probably 85% flirtation and conversation. We debated everything, politics, education, religion. He was an intellectual match for me on many levels. That made the times he put his hands on me even more exciting. We spent the first year and half routinely waiting for the office to clear so I could suck his dick in the conference room. Once a week, I eagerly took him into my mouth and did the one thing I knew his wife wouldn't. He became bolder as time went by. A grope here, a kiss there. He was becoming reckless and I was a wreck.
As his business began to fail, he began to demand more. He made it clear he was going to fuck me. He called the office one day and told me to remove my bra and panties because he was on the way there. I obediently complied. He arrived, locked up the office, took me into the conferece room, grabbed the back of my head and kissed me so deeply I couldn't breathe. He roughly pushed me down onto my hands and knees and got behind me. He raised my skirt and with no foreplay, no teasing, no subtle touch, he brutally fucked me. I had wanted him for so long but never imagined he would be so rough with me. He stood up and matter-of-factly told me he had to go and lock up. My head was still spinning the next day when he sold the company.
We saw each other a few more times afterward until his wife finally figured it out. It was not a good situation for either of us. (a story for another time...)
I knew going in to this that it was just sex. Another lie I told myself...
He told a few lies too...
I will never leave my wife... he did.
If I do, I want to be with you...he didn't.
I am too busy to date other women....he found the time.
I am not moving in with her....he did.
I have told him to leave me alone and never speak to me again, but he knows just what to say to make me forget why I am so mad. We continue on with whatever this is. We steal an hour or two here or there. Not very often anymore.
He most recently showed up in the middle of night. We went outside and he grabbed me back the back of my hair and kissed me like he did that time we had sex then told me he felt like he couldn't get enough of me. That might be his sweetest lie yet.
Our affair was a strange one. It was probably 85% flirtation and conversation. We debated everything, politics, education, religion. He was an intellectual match for me on many levels. That made the times he put his hands on me even more exciting. We spent the first year and half routinely waiting for the office to clear so I could suck his dick in the conference room. Once a week, I eagerly took him into my mouth and did the one thing I knew his wife wouldn't. He became bolder as time went by. A grope here, a kiss there. He was becoming reckless and I was a wreck.
As his business began to fail, he began to demand more. He made it clear he was going to fuck me. He called the office one day and told me to remove my bra and panties because he was on the way there. I obediently complied. He arrived, locked up the office, took me into the conferece room, grabbed the back of my head and kissed me so deeply I couldn't breathe. He roughly pushed me down onto my hands and knees and got behind me. He raised my skirt and with no foreplay, no teasing, no subtle touch, he brutally fucked me. I had wanted him for so long but never imagined he would be so rough with me. He stood up and matter-of-factly told me he had to go and lock up. My head was still spinning the next day when he sold the company.
We saw each other a few more times afterward until his wife finally figured it out. It was not a good situation for either of us. (a story for another time...)
I knew going in to this that it was just sex. Another lie I told myself...
He told a few lies too...
I will never leave my wife... he did.
If I do, I want to be with you...he didn't.
I am too busy to date other women....he found the time.
I am not moving in with her....he did.
I have told him to leave me alone and never speak to me again, but he knows just what to say to make me forget why I am so mad. We continue on with whatever this is. We steal an hour or two here or there. Not very often anymore.
He most recently showed up in the middle of night. We went outside and he grabbed me back the back of my hair and kissed me like he did that time we had sex then told me he felt like he couldn't get enough of me. That might be his sweetest lie yet.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
What??? Too much?
When I was chatting away with the Pilot, he kept asking me what is my type. I kept telling him I don't really have one. Physically this is true. My husband is 6'4" tall. More than a foot taller than me. I love a big, tall guy to overpower me but it is not a requirement that he be tall, just taller than me. (by the way...if a man lists 5'8" on his profile, expect anywhere from 5'0 to 5'5") I almost always prefer men between 40 and 50 years old even though I am in my 30s. However my current friend is younger than me. My last three friends have been from Morroco and India, so country of origin is not a deciding factor either.
So if it isn't a physical type what is it??? I am an educated woman. I earned my graduate degree and I do not reveal that to brag, just to let guys know that when I receive a note on AM or by email that says "so, wanna fuck?" I can feel my vagina close shop. Seriously guys, I am risking a lot to talk to you. I have a good marriage and great family and friends. If I am going to take the risk and open up to you about my deepest desires and beg you to fulfill them, then the least you can do is write a proper note to me. Something like this....the hottest message ever!
Riff's message would work for me on several levels. First of all, he is articulate and uses complete sentences with proper grammar. That alone gets me wet. (see, I'm pretty easy!) Secondly, he is cocky. Not in a "douche bag asshole" way but by telling Linda that he thinks she is cute enough to fuck and not be a total waste of time is kind of flattering. Think about it, he is telling her that he is hot enough to be picky about his partners and she makes the cut. I would be curious enough to want to meet him and judge for myself. Of course the sex chat is just steamy enough without going into creep territory or becoming a cheese fest.
My current friend, although a bit younger, has proven worthy of my attention because he writes to me in a similar style. I am not as hard core as Linda, but I am willing to try a few things with the right person. See guys, my standards aren't too high and I am not difficult to please. You are asking a woman to enter into a relationship of sorts built upon lies, deception, and secrecy yet we have to trust you. Crazy right? The best way to earn that trust with me is to take a moment, write a proper greeting, and let me know you are interested. I can overlook height, weight, and physical appearance if I am already turned on by your words...for a evening anyway.
So if it isn't a physical type what is it??? I am an educated woman. I earned my graduate degree and I do not reveal that to brag, just to let guys know that when I receive a note on AM or by email that says "so, wanna fuck?" I can feel my vagina close shop. Seriously guys, I am risking a lot to talk to you. I have a good marriage and great family and friends. If I am going to take the risk and open up to you about my deepest desires and beg you to fulfill them, then the least you can do is write a proper note to me. Something like this....the hottest message ever!
Riff's message would work for me on several levels. First of all, he is articulate and uses complete sentences with proper grammar. That alone gets me wet. (see, I'm pretty easy!) Secondly, he is cocky. Not in a "douche bag asshole" way but by telling Linda that he thinks she is cute enough to fuck and not be a total waste of time is kind of flattering. Think about it, he is telling her that he is hot enough to be picky about his partners and she makes the cut. I would be curious enough to want to meet him and judge for myself. Of course the sex chat is just steamy enough without going into creep territory or becoming a cheese fest.
My current friend, although a bit younger, has proven worthy of my attention because he writes to me in a similar style. I am not as hard core as Linda, but I am willing to try a few things with the right person. See guys, my standards aren't too high and I am not difficult to please. You are asking a woman to enter into a relationship of sorts built upon lies, deception, and secrecy yet we have to trust you. Crazy right? The best way to earn that trust with me is to take a moment, write a proper greeting, and let me know you are interested. I can overlook height, weight, and physical appearance if I am already turned on by your words...for a evening anyway.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Bigger is not Always Better
So...I have been chatting with this guy I like to call Pornstar (for several reasons) while being bored by the Cop. Pornstar was smart, witty, funny, and very sexual. His texts could make me blush. The things he wanted to do were both dangerous and exciting. After we finally agreed to meet, the terms were set...I had one hour to meet him. He got a hotel room and began texting me to be sure I would not back out. And we have red flag #1. Why do women not show up for him I wondered? I arrived at the door and he opened it and greeted me completely naked. Normally I would run when confronted by a naked stranger at the door but he actually warned me he would be naked when I arrived. Red flag #2. Yes, he warned me but still....
Before I could say hello his tongue was deep in my mouth and his hands were stripping me of my clothes. Even so, I couldn't help but notice he was rather excited to see me. I have to be honest, I have not seen a lot of dicks at this point in my life but I have only seen them as impressive as his in porn. I was really excited. Then he put his hands on my shoulders and gave me a gentle nudge that translates into "on your knees, bitch." Suddenly, I started to worry...how am I going to suck the whole thing? Oh well...I am certainly not one to back down from a challenge so I started to lick him all the way down before slipping him between my lips and sucking as much as I could. He seemed to appreciate my efforts.
Before long, he pulled me up off my knees and positioned me on the edge of the bed. His tongue against my clit was so strong I thought he was using a finger at first. I went completely numb in one leg and couldn't catch my breathe. In fact, I am pretty sure I saw stars. I made him stop so I could catch my breath and as soon as I did he went back to work on me. It was so intense that I had the perfectly normal reaction of bursting into laughter. Finally, he stopped, slipped on a condom, and began fucking me. There was no soft, sweet, romantic sex from him-just merciless, pounding, rough sex. And I loved it. I will admit, he was so large it was uncomfortable at times, but I am no quitter..
He asked if he could take a picture. RED ALERT! Ummm, hell no. Next time,
he said. Yeah, sure.
Then he flipped me on my belly and asked if he could have my ass. I had told him prior to our meeting that I was open to anal, but seeing his size in person had me really nervous. What the hell, right? He positioned on my side (as seen in porn) and fucked my ass like a pro. That was my very first orgasm from anal and I was loving it. He removed the condom and asked if he could have my lips on him again. He grabbed my hair and fucked my mouth until he he came.
When he finished, we looked at the clock...one hour to the minute. Damn.
Did I see Pornstar again??? Let's break it down:
Pros
Intense orgasm from oral....yes
Intense orgasm from anal....yes
Cons
A little desperate
A little too big (come on, I think his cock bruised my ribs)
A little too interested in creating a Kodak moment
***He found me on Facebook and sent me a friend request***
The last one happened just after our meeting and pretty much killed any future consideration. Overall, he was a fantastic one-time only fuck, but not quite right for me. Oh well...on to bigger (God I hope not) and better things...
Before I could say hello his tongue was deep in my mouth and his hands were stripping me of my clothes. Even so, I couldn't help but notice he was rather excited to see me. I have to be honest, I have not seen a lot of dicks at this point in my life but I have only seen them as impressive as his in porn. I was really excited. Then he put his hands on my shoulders and gave me a gentle nudge that translates into "on your knees, bitch." Suddenly, I started to worry...how am I going to suck the whole thing? Oh well...I am certainly not one to back down from a challenge so I started to lick him all the way down before slipping him between my lips and sucking as much as I could. He seemed to appreciate my efforts.
Before long, he pulled me up off my knees and positioned me on the edge of the bed. His tongue against my clit was so strong I thought he was using a finger at first. I went completely numb in one leg and couldn't catch my breathe. In fact, I am pretty sure I saw stars. I made him stop so I could catch my breath and as soon as I did he went back to work on me. It was so intense that I had the perfectly normal reaction of bursting into laughter. Finally, he stopped, slipped on a condom, and began fucking me. There was no soft, sweet, romantic sex from him-just merciless, pounding, rough sex. And I loved it. I will admit, he was so large it was uncomfortable at times, but I am no quitter..
He asked if he could take a picture. RED ALERT! Ummm, hell no. Next time,
he said. Yeah, sure.
Then he flipped me on my belly and asked if he could have my ass. I had told him prior to our meeting that I was open to anal, but seeing his size in person had me really nervous. What the hell, right? He positioned on my side (as seen in porn) and fucked my ass like a pro. That was my very first orgasm from anal and I was loving it. He removed the condom and asked if he could have my lips on him again. He grabbed my hair and fucked my mouth until he he came.
When he finished, we looked at the clock...one hour to the minute. Damn.
Did I see Pornstar again??? Let's break it down:
Pros
Intense orgasm from oral....yes
Intense orgasm from anal....yes
Cons
A little desperate
A little too big (come on, I think his cock bruised my ribs)
A little too interested in creating a Kodak moment
***He found me on Facebook and sent me a friend request***
The last one happened just after our meeting and pretty much killed any future consideration. Overall, he was a fantastic one-time only fuck, but not quite right for me. Oh well...on to bigger (God I hope not) and better things...
Sunday, September 18, 2011
But I Digress...
I was just about to describe in detail the rest of my very fruitful afternoon with "Mr. Flowers" when it occured to me that perhaps, I should go back to the beginning and talk about my first two AM experiences, Cop and Pornstar. When I made the decision to join Ashley Madison I wasn't sure what to expect. I did get an inbox full of flattering, disgusting, and unique messages. I finally settled on two and sent them both a message to see what would happen. Both responded back and before I knew it, I was chatting with both.
The first guy, the Cop, sent me pictures of himself (in uniform even!) and a cell number for me to text. This number was nothing like local numbers for the area he was from and I immediately thought MISCHIEF PHONE! He reads Riff Dog! (He didn't and it was his "criminal phone") We met one morning and he drove around for nearly an hour looking for a good place for us to park. This is the problem with a cop...every spot looked too suspicious or too open. Finally, he pulled into a car wash. We began kissing like high school kids and all of my nervousness and fear was replaced with excitement. He was an amazing kisser. He took control and knew what he was doing. Our hands were all over each other and as I rubbed him over his jeans I could feel his rock hard cock dying to be let out. It was like high school but without the fear of being labeled a slut.
I happily helped him out of his little prison (keeping with the law and order theme) and without wasting a second, my mouth was on him. I was swirling my tongue around the tip and sucking him as deep as I could manage given the limitations of his clothes and our space. He was so sweet but he didn't last very long. "I am going to cum." he whispered to me. I gave a thumbs up and didn't stop. He warned me again. Ummm, ok. Finally, he exploded into my mouth and I happily swallowed every last drop. I am pretty sure it had been awhile for him as he kept thanking me as he drove me back to my car. Honestly guys, thanking a girl once is more than sufficient. More than that and it becomes awkward and pathetic.
In the end, I saw the Cop one more time. This time, we ended up fucking on his living room floor but he couldn't finish the deal. (ran out of law and order themed metaphors) Between my nervousness of being in his house (I will never do that again!) and his confession that it had been 8 months since he last had sex as he apologized profusely, I knew I couldn't see him again. I joined AM to have fun and this guy, while nice, was a downer.
Thank goodness I had the Pornstar on deck....
The first guy, the Cop, sent me pictures of himself (in uniform even!) and a cell number for me to text. This number was nothing like local numbers for the area he was from and I immediately thought MISCHIEF PHONE! He reads Riff Dog! (He didn't and it was his "criminal phone") We met one morning and he drove around for nearly an hour looking for a good place for us to park. This is the problem with a cop...every spot looked too suspicious or too open. Finally, he pulled into a car wash. We began kissing like high school kids and all of my nervousness and fear was replaced with excitement. He was an amazing kisser. He took control and knew what he was doing. Our hands were all over each other and as I rubbed him over his jeans I could feel his rock hard cock dying to be let out. It was like high school but without the fear of being labeled a slut.
I happily helped him out of his little prison (keeping with the law and order theme) and without wasting a second, my mouth was on him. I was swirling my tongue around the tip and sucking him as deep as I could manage given the limitations of his clothes and our space. He was so sweet but he didn't last very long. "I am going to cum." he whispered to me. I gave a thumbs up and didn't stop. He warned me again. Ummm, ok. Finally, he exploded into my mouth and I happily swallowed every last drop. I am pretty sure it had been awhile for him as he kept thanking me as he drove me back to my car. Honestly guys, thanking a girl once is more than sufficient. More than that and it becomes awkward and pathetic.
In the end, I saw the Cop one more time. This time, we ended up fucking on his living room floor but he couldn't finish the deal. (ran out of law and order themed metaphors) Between my nervousness of being in his house (I will never do that again!) and his confession that it had been 8 months since he last had sex as he apologized profusely, I knew I couldn't see him again. I joined AM to have fun and this guy, while nice, was a downer.
Thank goodness I had the Pornstar on deck....
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Great Expectations
When I am meeting someone new there is always a build-up of emotion leading to that first hook-up. I think about my expectations in terms of the man I am meeting...will I be pretty enough, funny enough, smart enough, sexy enough? Will he like my body or think I am too big? Will I be comfortable enough to relax with him? So many questions running through my mind. I worry that he won't enjoy the experience and therefore I talk myself into disappointment before I meet anyone.
My expectations are always less than great.
Imagine my surprise when he brought me flowers. Honestly, my first thought was "how am I going to explain this to the husband?" Then I realized that I have only received flowers on three occasions from my husband...twice for birthing his children and once when he called me a fucking bitch in public. I smiled and relaxed a little. Flowers were a pleasant surprise.
I always wonder in my head if I will be able to tell if he really likes me or if I am just a Brenda situation waiting to happen. Not that I would mind a pity fuck from a tall handsome stranger, I just don't think I would want to know. I am not sexy. I have come to terms with that and I am okay with it. Whenever a man sees my photo I get the same response... you are so cute. CUTE. INNOCENT. SWEET. Not the typical girl who likes to be fucked in the ass. Hard. It is rare that a man responds the way he did. He is calling me beautiful and making me think he means it.
He says he wanted to take me to a nice restaurant for our first meeting but I could only get away in the morning so our options were limited. We managed to find a public place that afforded us privacy. We talked for hours and repeatedly he kept telling me how beautiful I was and how lucky he felt in that moment. Initially embarrassed by the attention, I slowly began to think about his expectations. This poor sweet man has been a paying member of AM for two years and has had two relationships. Both brief and ending amicably in similar ways. He has been contacted by women who insisted on trips to Las Vegas and cruises before even meeting him in person. Many of the contacts he receives are little more than women looking for a payday. My profile explicitly states that I do not want anything from my friends other than a physical relationship. He said it was what caught his attention.
Before lunch time I was sitting on the edge of a bed in a little hotel room being undressed by my stranger as his tongue worked its way from my face and neck to my chest. So much kissing. How could I not reward him? I slid onto the floor before him and began to suck his still soft cock until it grew firm and long in my mouth. Deeper and deeper. I could tell he liked it from his soft moans and then he grabbed the back of my head and began pushing his dick deeper into my throat. In the softest voice I heard him ask "where would you like me to cum?" I have never been asked that before. At first I wasn't sure what to say so I told him, "wherever you like." He put his hands in my hair and unloaded so much into my mouth I wasn't sure I could swallow it all....but I did. I kept on sucking until I had every last drop of him and his firmness was gone. I kissed around his thighs and he said to me "give me five minutes and I will fuck you on the bed."
My expectations are exceeded.
My expectations are always less than great.
Imagine my surprise when he brought me flowers. Honestly, my first thought was "how am I going to explain this to the husband?" Then I realized that I have only received flowers on three occasions from my husband...twice for birthing his children and once when he called me a fucking bitch in public. I smiled and relaxed a little. Flowers were a pleasant surprise.
I always wonder in my head if I will be able to tell if he really likes me or if I am just a Brenda situation waiting to happen. Not that I would mind a pity fuck from a tall handsome stranger, I just don't think I would want to know. I am not sexy. I have come to terms with that and I am okay with it. Whenever a man sees my photo I get the same response... you are so cute. CUTE. INNOCENT. SWEET. Not the typical girl who likes to be fucked in the ass. Hard. It is rare that a man responds the way he did. He is calling me beautiful and making me think he means it.
He says he wanted to take me to a nice restaurant for our first meeting but I could only get away in the morning so our options were limited. We managed to find a public place that afforded us privacy. We talked for hours and repeatedly he kept telling me how beautiful I was and how lucky he felt in that moment. Initially embarrassed by the attention, I slowly began to think about his expectations. This poor sweet man has been a paying member of AM for two years and has had two relationships. Both brief and ending amicably in similar ways. He has been contacted by women who insisted on trips to Las Vegas and cruises before even meeting him in person. Many of the contacts he receives are little more than women looking for a payday. My profile explicitly states that I do not want anything from my friends other than a physical relationship. He said it was what caught his attention.
Before lunch time I was sitting on the edge of a bed in a little hotel room being undressed by my stranger as his tongue worked its way from my face and neck to my chest. So much kissing. How could I not reward him? I slid onto the floor before him and began to suck his still soft cock until it grew firm and long in my mouth. Deeper and deeper. I could tell he liked it from his soft moans and then he grabbed the back of my head and began pushing his dick deeper into my throat. In the softest voice I heard him ask "where would you like me to cum?" I have never been asked that before. At first I wasn't sure what to say so I told him, "wherever you like." He put his hands in my hair and unloaded so much into my mouth I wasn't sure I could swallow it all....but I did. I kept on sucking until I had every last drop of him and his firmness was gone. I kissed around his thighs and he said to me "give me five minutes and I will fuck you on the bed."
My expectations are exceeded.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Here Goes Everything...
I have been thinking about beginning this blog for some time. There are a million reasons why I shouldn't do it... why tell strangers about my infidelities, desires, rejections, and humilitations? What if my husband finds out? Yet, here I am. Anticipation is the reason I keep doing it. I will never leave my husband and I never want him to know about this other me, but when I feel the anticipation of a new lover, I am a better wife in many ways.
I decided to join Ashley Madison this summer after reading Riff Dog's many exploits. Still not sure if I should thank him or curse him... Anyway, after a few bad experiences that I may someday share when my anger and humiliation begin to fade, I was messing around on an adult chat site thinking it would be more anonymous and less likely to lead to "trouble." Then I met him. You know the one ladies...everything about him was right. He was articulate, mature but not too old, and knew exactly what he wanted. He had me from the minute we agreed to chat. We discussed everything and nothing was off limits. He talked about meeting me and since I was half a country away I figured I was safe. Then came the bombshell...my super hot chat friend was a pilot. (Yeah, sure he is...) He gave me proof.
The date was set and we were going to meet and fuck like two sex starved maniacs. It was all we discussed for months. Every conversation delved into the ways we were going to devour each other. Every conversation building and building our desire to be consumed by each other. We talked on the phone when we could get away with it (did I mention he had a French accent too?) I was so addicted to this stranger. He was the first and last person I chatted with on a daily basis. My dreams were overrun with thoughts of my hot French-speaking pilot. There were no expectations beyond the one day. In fact, we specifically and repeatedly reminded each other that this was just a fun, one-time fuck-a-palooza. And every day the anticipation of communicating with my sweet pilot was an all-consuming obsession.
Maybe the anticipation of our meeting was dooming it from the start. Maybe, if he had not written to me so sweetly and did not really get to know me as a person. Maybe, if things had turned out better, I wouldn't be mourning him like a friend or relation lost to me forever but here I am going down on another stranger and wishing it was my pilot. My super sweet pilot who will not write to me anymore.
Anticipation is the drug that keeps me coming back for more.
I decided to join Ashley Madison this summer after reading Riff Dog's many exploits. Still not sure if I should thank him or curse him... Anyway, after a few bad experiences that I may someday share when my anger and humiliation begin to fade, I was messing around on an adult chat site thinking it would be more anonymous and less likely to lead to "trouble." Then I met him. You know the one ladies...everything about him was right. He was articulate, mature but not too old, and knew exactly what he wanted. He had me from the minute we agreed to chat. We discussed everything and nothing was off limits. He talked about meeting me and since I was half a country away I figured I was safe. Then came the bombshell...my super hot chat friend was a pilot. (Yeah, sure he is...) He gave me proof.
The date was set and we were going to meet and fuck like two sex starved maniacs. It was all we discussed for months. Every conversation delved into the ways we were going to devour each other. Every conversation building and building our desire to be consumed by each other. We talked on the phone when we could get away with it (did I mention he had a French accent too?) I was so addicted to this stranger. He was the first and last person I chatted with on a daily basis. My dreams were overrun with thoughts of my hot French-speaking pilot. There were no expectations beyond the one day. In fact, we specifically and repeatedly reminded each other that this was just a fun, one-time fuck-a-palooza. And every day the anticipation of communicating with my sweet pilot was an all-consuming obsession.
Maybe the anticipation of our meeting was dooming it from the start. Maybe, if he had not written to me so sweetly and did not really get to know me as a person. Maybe, if things had turned out better, I wouldn't be mourning him like a friend or relation lost to me forever but here I am going down on another stranger and wishing it was my pilot. My super sweet pilot who will not write to me anymore.
Anticipation is the drug that keeps me coming back for more.
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