Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Feeling Funky

I apologize to my five readers.  :)  The following post is a little self indulgent and probably whiny. I am not sure what has brought about my change in mood lately.

 The fall is my favorite time of year.  I love the cooling air, the smell of leaves that have turned and fallen, the thought that a long winter is just around the corner.  I love it all.  It is also a busy time of year for me.  Parties, birthdays, and holidays compete for my attention and I rarely turn down an invitation. Keeping busy is keeping me from getting busy.
 
Although, there is not a lot to tell lately.  Don turned out to be a disappointment.  We set a time to meet and he cancelled.  We continued to chat but I noticed he was only available to me late at night and I started to slowly realize that we were probably never going to meet.  I think he is afraid to take that next step and that is fine, but I don't have the time to wait on him to get there.

The boss has not called or come around in awhile.  We are very hands-off these days and I am getting used to that dynamic between us.  I am here when he needs me and if I ever need him, I know he would come.

Then I started thinking...always dangerous, I admit, that perhaps, I should take a break from AM.  A break from the whole other life for awhile.  I am feeling lucky at this moment.  Lucky that I haven't been caught and lucky that I haven't hooked up with a creep who stalks me.  Just lucky.  Perhaps I should just stop and be happy with what I have. 

That's just it.  I am happy with what I have and that is why I have this whole other secret life.   So if it isn't happiness I am after, what is it?  Yes, a nice break from AM while I focus on me for awhile.

Hey, is that a new email in my AM box???

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Taking a break is an important consideration. I feel lucky that I never met a psycho on AM and I feel very unlucky that I got caught and that it turned my world upside down. But I also met the love of my life, so there are risks/benefits to every decision. Good luck with yours.